If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it out of you.
andrewlapointe on June 7, 2010
There are a seemingly endless amount of facts about action movie legend Chuck Norris. In fact a book of extensive Norris facts was published in 2007 entitled The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About The World’s Greatest Human, which led to Norris filing a lawsuit claiming “trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights”.
Here are a few things about Chuck Norris you might not have known:
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
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To see proof of the might and power of Chuck Norris, come see his 1985 thriller Code of Silence on Saturday June 12 at 11:45pm. And to learn more about Chuck visit www.chucknorrisfacts.com